Adventures in Motherhood: If I Weren't Laughing, I'd Be Crying!
Just another day in the life...
Mondays in our school district are "Early Out" days meaning that the kids get out of school an hour early. Yay? This also means that since Ian is in half day Kindergarten that I have to take him to school an hour earlier than usual. Have I forgotten about this before... um, yes. So to avoid forgetting to take Ian to Kindergarten early, I told Ian to remind me... which he did, every five minutes from the time he woke up. Finally, it is time to go. We are doing good, I am aware of the early day, I have been watching the clock, time to go! EXCEPT, Ian has to go to the bathroom... and Charlotte has to go to the bathroom. No problem, we have two bathrooms, EXCEPT, due to the occasional spider in the tub, the kids refuse ot use the downstairs bathroom. We may as well board up the bathroom door and call it condemned because no kid will use it. SO, I tell Ian to use the upstairs bathroom, because then he can be done and hurry and get his shoes on and finish getting ready for Kindergarten.
HOWEVER, Charlotte has to go NOW! And Ian isn't getting done anytime soon. I bribe her to use the downstairs potty. I tell her that we can have an outdoor adventure and go water the grass, I even offer the bathtub. NO CAN DO. We are now T-minus two minutes to school start time and Ian is STILL in the bathroom. Charlotte is screaming. The phone rings. I have been doing billing all morning for the construction on our house. This is a call I need to take. Charlotte is still screaming, I am on the phone, the doorbell rings. I answer the door with a phone on my hand and a naked screaming two-year old clingling to my leg. It is a friend of mine wondering if she could take Ian to school, which would be great EXCEPT, Ian is STILL in the bathroom.
I finally take the screaming two year old and force her like the mean mother that I am to sit on the potty downstairs and then tickle her until she goes. She is not happy. Ian finishes, hooray, we can go to school, EXCEPT, Charlotte needs to go number 2, which she held in because she wouldn't go on the downstairs potty. We are now 5-minutes past the start of school. Charlotte is in the potty. I open Ian's backpack and realize that we didn't do his homework!!! He had been out on spud harvest for two weeks and I got so busy, I failed to check the backpack until just now. Ian is now in the van doing his homework and Charlotte is STILL on the potty. Finally, she is done and we can take Ian to school EXCEPT, Charlotte wants to wear a different pair of underwear, AND she has to do it herself, AND because I touched her underwear AND offered to help her put them on, she has thrown them across the room and is having a tantrum. So I offer her a selection of underwear, and am careful not to touch any of them and now we are on our way (and the phone is ringing again btw another call regarding billing). We finally arrive at Ian's school and I walk him in, knowing that he is now very late. He runs out to the playground ahead of me with a big "?" over his head wondering where his class is. They are already in class, so I sneakily push him in there and tell him to act like he has been there the whole time. Phew... everyone is finally taken care of... wait a minute... WHERE'S THE BABY!!!
Mondays in our school district are "Early Out" days meaning that the kids get out of school an hour early. Yay? This also means that since Ian is in half day Kindergarten that I have to take him to school an hour earlier than usual. Have I forgotten about this before... um, yes. So to avoid forgetting to take Ian to Kindergarten early, I told Ian to remind me... which he did, every five minutes from the time he woke up. Finally, it is time to go. We are doing good, I am aware of the early day, I have been watching the clock, time to go! EXCEPT, Ian has to go to the bathroom... and Charlotte has to go to the bathroom. No problem, we have two bathrooms, EXCEPT, due to the occasional spider in the tub, the kids refuse ot use the downstairs bathroom. We may as well board up the bathroom door and call it condemned because no kid will use it. SO, I tell Ian to use the upstairs bathroom, because then he can be done and hurry and get his shoes on and finish getting ready for Kindergarten.
HOWEVER, Charlotte has to go NOW! And Ian isn't getting done anytime soon. I bribe her to use the downstairs potty. I tell her that we can have an outdoor adventure and go water the grass, I even offer the bathtub. NO CAN DO. We are now T-minus two minutes to school start time and Ian is STILL in the bathroom. Charlotte is screaming. The phone rings. I have been doing billing all morning for the construction on our house. This is a call I need to take. Charlotte is still screaming, I am on the phone, the doorbell rings. I answer the door with a phone on my hand and a naked screaming two-year old clingling to my leg. It is a friend of mine wondering if she could take Ian to school, which would be great EXCEPT, Ian is STILL in the bathroom.
I finally take the screaming two year old and force her like the mean mother that I am to sit on the potty downstairs and then tickle her until she goes. She is not happy. Ian finishes, hooray, we can go to school, EXCEPT, Charlotte needs to go number 2, which she held in because she wouldn't go on the downstairs potty. We are now 5-minutes past the start of school. Charlotte is in the potty. I open Ian's backpack and realize that we didn't do his homework!!! He had been out on spud harvest for two weeks and I got so busy, I failed to check the backpack until just now. Ian is now in the van doing his homework and Charlotte is STILL on the potty. Finally, she is done and we can take Ian to school EXCEPT, Charlotte wants to wear a different pair of underwear, AND she has to do it herself, AND because I touched her underwear AND offered to help her put them on, she has thrown them across the room and is having a tantrum. So I offer her a selection of underwear, and am careful not to touch any of them and now we are on our way (and the phone is ringing again btw another call regarding billing). We finally arrive at Ian's school and I walk him in, knowing that he is now very late. He runs out to the playground ahead of me with a big "?" over his head wondering where his class is. They are already in class, so I sneakily push him in there and tell him to act like he has been there the whole time. Phew... everyone is finally taken care of... wait a minute... WHERE'S THE BABY!!!
(This picture really has nothing to do with the post other than it shows you what I'm dealing with as far as the two-year old goes.)
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