Adventures in Motherhood: Balayage

 Okay, this isn't so much an adventure in "motherhood" as it is just an adventure in the naivete of me, Lori.  Being a stay-at-home mother means I don't get out much and having a husband that works out of town and late hours means I really don't get out much... which means I also don't get to go to a lot of movies, our busy schedules keeps me from watching TV... unless you count my morning sessions of Curious George and Sesame Street, and the only magazines I get are Family Fun and the LDS church magazines.  Needless to say, I am so not hip or with it.  I only just found out the other day what it means to "whip" and "nae-nae" because I did finally get to watch an episode of Ellen when I was folding laundry this week.  I wish I was cool and stylishly sexy, but I just don't even know what the cool kids are doing these days.  What isn't cool is that my hair is turning gray, though silver and white are a more accurate description.  I usually just buy a $4 dye kit from Wal-Mart and combat the grayness as a trip to the salon for color usually ranges $100 and takes 4 hours.  My hair is thick.  And again, I don't get out much, especially without kids and 4 hours in a salon with kids just ain't going to happen.  BUT today I had jury duty.  Who really gets jury duty?  I always thought that jury duty was just an urban legend, but then it actually happened to ME.  And it happened to coincide with a week when Zac was out of town and could be of no assistance to me with the kids.  So I had to turn to my next resource, my awesome Mother-in-Law.  Who got up super early and drove for an hour on winter roads to come to my rescue so that I could perform my civic duty.

I was kind of dreading it, because I was nervous to go into a courtroom with criminals and was sure that I would be selected and it would end up being some OJ Simpson thing where it goes on for like a year and I have to stay in a hotel room and not watch TV.  However, after two hours of jury selection, I never even got called up to sit on the stand or give so much as my occupation or city of residence, which was a bummer because I had practiced all kinds of things to say to disqualify me.  Either way, I was off the hook!  And since my mother-in-law had so kindly offered to stay and babysit for a couple more hours, and my grays (silvers) were popping, I decided to go sit in a salon for 4 hours and drop $100 to make myself hip.

Because I really don't have a clue about anything, I sat down in a chair and gave the stylist a vague idea of what I needed.  "Hi, my name is Lori and I need some hair color, but I don't really know what color and I don't know how you do it or anything.  Maybe you could try that Omber thingy? "  

"You mean 'ohm-bray'?"  

"Um, yeah.... what is that?"

"Half your hair is light and half your hair is dark."

"Oh.  Um.  Maybe not that."  "More like this picture of Miss Columbia (I was reading a People magazine in the waiting room- I mean I know she didn't really win the Miss Universe pageant, but still..."

"Balayage?"

"Uh.... Yes, that, yep, that's what I want."

"Do you want this color, or this color?"

"Which color do you think I want?"

"Probably this one."

"Yeah... that's the one I was thinking too.  Do that."

4 Hours Later

"Ummmmmm..... My hair is like electric orange.  Is that normal?  Is that what we had envisioned?"

All the stylists gather round... "Oh Wow!  That color is so you.  it is just beautiful, don't you agree stylist 2?  Oh yes, exactly what you wanted?  It is so you."

"Ummmm... I'm pretty sure I wanted to look like Miss Columbia, but if you insist... here's your $100."

I can't get the lighting to do it justice.  It really is pretty bright orange.  Maybe if I just hang out in my kitchen for the next several months, no one will notice.

And since the kids were taking some great model shots for me, they thought they should help me out with some poses.  So I had to take their pictures too so I would know what to do.

 

Tanner thinks I should just run to the store real fast and get a $4 box of dye and change myself back into his mom.  But heck- I paid $100 for this electric orange Balayage and I am going to rock this color until it comes in style... or until Zac comes home from his work trip and tells me to go buy the $4 box of hair dye at Wal-Mart. 

P.S. ha ha ha auto correct doesn't like the word Balayage and wants me to change it to Jambalaya, which let's be honest sounds way more awesome and now I wish I had spent my $100 on Jambalaya instead.